dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
