I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
