Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize