When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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