so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
