There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
