Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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