she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
