My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
