Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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