Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.