I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.