dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.