This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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