im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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