Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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