david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize