from now on my penis is your penis
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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