eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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