Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
