Why are handjobs necessary in class?
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
