Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
