If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
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