I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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