i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
handjob tips. give me some.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize