My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
