when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
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I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
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No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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