i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize