everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
That accounts for only three of the penises
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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