hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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