Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize