i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
