the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
