this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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