Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
