Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Too much gin, very little bucket
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
