Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
