Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
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I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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