i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
