he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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