I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
