is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
