you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize