you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
