I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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