A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
