Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize