no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Randomize
