I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
