I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
