I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Randomize
