I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Randomize
