she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
