Can i not drive my cunt home
We need to rekindle our bromance
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
