New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
