there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
