I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
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While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You made out with two different species that night
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It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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