Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
