it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I think I died a long time ago.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
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I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
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also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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