a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
