my vag is so smooth its legendary
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
