awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
