i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
