: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
