Where is the hickey?
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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