New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
