first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
